The ESK blog
Decoding your teen's brain? Why do they listen to TikTokkers and not me?
19 August 2024
Dr Anne Thomson
Decoding your teen's brain? Why do they listen to TikTokkers and not me?
Hey there, fellow parents! Ever wondered why your teen seems to hang on every word from their favourite TikTok star but tunes you out? Let's dive into the fascinating science of the teen brain to decode this mystery.
First off, let’s talk about the brain's development. Your teen might be fully grown physically by age 15 or 16 but their brain doesn’t finish growing until the late 20s, and the part of the brain called the prefrontal cortex which is responsible for decision-making and planning is pretty much the last part to mature. The part of the brain called the amygdala which is responsible for IMMEDIATE responses (aggression and fear for example) is fully operational because it develops first! This means your teen is even more sensitive to rewarding stimuli, like those funny, exciting, or trendy TikTok videos.
Combine these imbalanced brain regions and you see that teens’ brains are primed for more risky behaviour.
Now, add in a dash of social influence. Teens are hardwired to seek peer approval and are incredibly attuned to social signals. This is why they might prioritise what their favourite influencers say over your well-meaning advice. Those quick, catchy TikTok videos are designed to grab attention and deliver instant gratification, something that resonates perfectly with a developing brain craving new experiences and social validation.
So, what's a parent to do? Remember, it's all about balance. While you might not be able to compete with the allure of TikTok, you can leverage it. Engage with your teen about the content they watch, ask questions, and show genuine interest. This way, you bridge the gap between their digital world and your real-world wisdom. Plus, maintaining open communication helps you stay connected and ensures your teen knows they can come to you with anything, even if their favourite TikTokker has a million followers.
Encourage a sceptic’s eye. Lots of stuff they see on Tiktok is complete garbage. It’s design is first and foremost an entertainment platform, not designed for the dissemination of quality information. Chat with them about who made the content they’re watching and why? They should also be alert to the possibility of clickbait or worse. I love https://www.getbadnews.com/ and https://spotthetroll.org to get them to hone their BS radar!
In the end, it’s about understanding that this phase is a natural part of their brain development. By staying involved and showing empathy, you'll help guide them through these tumultuous years. So next time your teen quotes a TikTok video, take a deep breath, join the conversation, and remember: you’re both navigating this brainy adventure together!